Today you made me feel incredible!!!!
I secretly have struggled with confidence in my body and have had a personal battle with food and gaining weight, over the past two years. I would try to 'diet' and fail miserably, only to find that I had gained...believe it or not...30 pounds from my healthiest weight three years ago.
I was miserable. I hated the way I looked. I hated the way my clothes fit. I felt fat, frumpy, ugly, and horrible about myself. These feelings, coupled with my divorce, depression, and my Grandpa passing away last year, found me in a downward spiral.
I felt like I was in a black hole, so I would eat and drink wine, to make myself feel better.
One cold Sunday morning in December right before Christmas I stepped on the scale...and I cried. And cried. And cried some more. I weighed my heaviest. Even though I had weighed almost that much before, I had promised myself years ago that I would never reach that awful 163 pounds again...but I had. I broke my promise to myself. I hated myself and I knew that I needed to stop.
I vowed that day to make changes. I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app on my iPhone and started using it. I received a boxing bag and pink boxing gloves for Christmas and I started using them. I went to the gym everyday at least once a day over Christmas break and did at least two workouts everyday. I cut out my guilty pleasures like my glass of wine and my ramen noodles (with lots of melty cheese! yum!).
Right before Christmas I signed up through the University of Utah to take online courses to be a certified fitness trainer. This is something that I always wanted to do, but my bachelor degree in psychology had been my main priority for the last few years. I finally took the plunge and now have four classes left before my internship!!!
That morning I had decided that if I was going to be a credible trainer and someone that my clients could count on, I HAD to change. I needed to be able to prove to my future clients, as well as myself, that it was possible to get healthy, and create a change for myself.
Well this morning I stepped on the same scale and I can say I am doing it!! I am changing my body and my life!
I have lost TEN pounds since that awful morning and I feel amazing!! (that is even with the holiday feasts!) I feel skinnier and my clothes are starting to fit better. My goal is to be down another 20 pounds by summer vacation time and I know that I will do it. I have a healthy lifestyle in place and everyday I am getting better.
I even, GASP, have cut coffee completely out of my diet. I know!! That is huge for me, considering I could down a whole 12 cup pot by myself, every morning!
So I want to say thank you, Universe, for giving me the people I needed for motivation, the courage in myself, and the ability to see the changes that my beautiful body is making. Thank you for this baby step to help keep me going everyday.
I hope that soon I will have another letter for you describing the rest of my weight loss journey, on that amazing day when I reach my goal!!
Sending Lots of Love Light and Peace,
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