I Am Still Here

Dear Universe,

I am still here!!!

That sentence has a whole new meaning after the weekend I had.

It has been a crazy week that started with a car accident late Sunday afternoon. Spinning out of control and smashing into a cement barrier going 40 mph was not fun. It left us super sore, bruised, and banged up. The vehicle was a total loss and we lost a pillow to the new couch we just purchased, and a booster seat out the back window. Stuff from the front seat ended up in the back and the stuff in the back ended up under my feet and the gas pedal.


I don't even know how we ended up being pushed out of traffic because the engine died on impact.  There definitely were guardian angels looking out for us.


It shook me so bad that ever since I am THAT person that drives under the speed limit, and the thought of driving in a snow storm now scares the crap out of me.

BUT even though it was scary and painful there is always a silver lining.

We have a 'new to us' car that has heated seats!! So nice in this frozen 20 degree weather. It is a lot nicer than what we had before and fits the family much better.

We could have been hurt a lot worse than we were, and looking at the damage now I am shocked that no one had any broken bones.

It reminded us all how fragile life is and my first question before even putting the car in reverse, "Is everyone buckled?" Without seat belts we all would have been thrown from the car.

On top of that it has been a busy week of school, work, and buying a new car.

So yes Universe I am still here. I have not forgotten about you! I was just in bed in a drug induced coma sleeping off my bumps and bruises for a couple days!

Thank you for saving us from what could have been a lot worse. Thank you for letting us all walk away from that awful mess!

Love,

Cheating

Dear Universe,

I am not perfect. Far from it. Today I snapped.

The past few weeks I have been killing myself. I have been eating 1200 calories a day or less and have been pushing myself really hard at the gym. So hard in fact that I tweaked my knee yesterday running on the treadmill (best two mile run I have ever ran in my life!) and had to take today a lot slower on the elliptical.

My body is so sore that it literally hurts to breathe. I have done two Ab workouts this week and to sneeze and cough feels like my stomach is going to fall off my body.

I have been so good with my diet that I even have been using water with my protein shakes. ( It really is kind of gross!)


Well tonight I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had to cheat. So..... I ravished those corn dogs and it was worth every bite.

I can't be perfect all the time and I need to not expect myself to. I will not feel guilty in the morning for eating them and lord knows I probably will have a bowl of cereal before bed. (Cheerios and soy milk of course.)

Being okay with a cheat meal once in a while is a necessary part of any 'diet'. And while we are at it. Lets talk about the word diet. I hate it. I hate that as a whole, society believes that certain foods are 'bad' for you. Well anything in excess can be bad for you, even water. But what most people forget is moderation. It is okay to have a corn dog once in a while. I don't even remember the last time I ate one. It is okay to have that glass of wine once a week, or that piece of chocolate before bed. It is okay to eat foods that you truly love, once in a while. Our bodies are fine tuned machines and to feel good they need good nutrition. So although I did just feed my body 13 grams of protein for each corn dog, I also fed it a lot of sodium and a lot of saturated fat. I fully intend to burn that off at the gym.

A healthy lifestyle is good for everyone, but it is okay to have that cheat once in a while. Your healthy choices will fail miserably if you don't let yourself have some breathing room. I would rather cheat with my dinner tonight than feel so pressured in a few days that I go on an eating binge for a whole day. That would do a whole lot more damage than two corn dogs.


So thank you Universe for letting me vent tonight. I needed it to remind myself that it is okay to just be human once in a while. I still love myself and know that I really am doing an incredible job on my weight loss journey.

Love ,

Baby Steps

Dear Universe,

Today you made me feel incredible!!!!

I secretly have struggled with confidence in my body and have had a personal battle with food and gaining weight, over the past two years. I would try to 'diet' and fail miserably, only to find that I had gained...believe it or not...30 pounds from my healthiest weight three years ago.

I was miserable. I hated the way I looked. I hated the way my clothes fit. I felt fat, frumpy, ugly, and horrible about myself. These feelings, coupled with my divorce, depression, and my Grandpa passing away last year, found me in a downward spiral.

I felt like I was in a black hole, so I would eat and drink wine, to make myself feel better.

One cold Sunday morning in December right before Christmas I stepped on the scale...and I cried. And cried. And cried some more. I weighed my heaviest. Even though I had weighed almost that much before, I had promised myself years ago that I would never reach that awful 163 pounds again...but I had. I broke my promise to myself. I hated myself and I knew that I needed to stop.

I vowed that day to make changes. I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app on my iPhone and started using it. I received a boxing bag and pink boxing gloves for Christmas and I started using them. I went to the gym everyday at least once a day over Christmas break and did at least two workouts everyday. I cut out my guilty pleasures like my glass of wine and my ramen noodles (with lots of melty cheese! yum!).

Right before Christmas I signed up through the University of Utah to take online courses to be a certified fitness trainer. This is something that I always wanted to do, but my bachelor degree in psychology had been my main priority for the last few years. I finally took the plunge and now have four classes left before my internship!!!

That morning I had decided that if I was going to be a credible trainer and someone that my clients could count on, I HAD to change. I needed to be able to prove to my future clients, as well as myself, that it was possible to get healthy, and create a change for myself.

Well this morning I stepped on the same scale and I can say I am doing it!! I am changing my body and my life!

I have lost TEN pounds since that awful morning and I feel amazing!! (that is even with the holiday feasts!)  I feel skinnier and my clothes are starting to fit better. My goal is to be down another 20 pounds by summer vacation time and I know that I will do it. I have a healthy lifestyle in place and everyday I am getting better.

I even, GASP, have cut coffee completely out of my diet. I know!! That is huge for me, considering I could down a whole 12 cup pot by myself, every morning!

So I want to say thank you, Universe, for giving me the people I needed for motivation, the courage in myself, and the ability to see the changes that my beautiful body is making. Thank you for this baby step to help keep me going everyday.

I hope that soon I will have another letter for you describing the rest of my weight loss journey, on that amazing day when I reach my goal!!

Sending Lots of Love Light and Peace,

The Power Of The Secret

Dear Universe,

Today I had a particularly fun moment using the Law of Attraction and bringing more positive energy into my life.

It was a crazy day running errands, trying to work, and get a workout in all while still dealing with the sniffles I have from being in bed for 4 days with a stinking cold.

At one point today I had to run to town to pick up one of the children from a sleep over.

I love cars. I love to drive fast. I love movies like the Fast and the Furious and Gone in 60 Seconds.

I had tried the steps to the Law of Attraction a few years ago and had focused my energy on a new car.

My dream car is a hot pink custom painted 1970 Corvette Stingray with T-tops. Yes, my Barbie Car. I had in the past though focused on a new sleek black Vette with a sunroof. At the time I drove an old 1996 Isuzu Rodeo with giant mud tires that hummed on the freeway. (Yes I loved that car too, even though it wasn't fast, man could that thing puddle jump!!) Every time I jumped in my Rodeo I would pretend it was a Vette. And I would have fun with it! I would blast my music, thank the Universe for this amazing car, and drive fast.... well as fast as I could.

I was shopping one day with my husband at the time and we drove right by a Chevy dealer. I had a huge gut instinct to stop. To go test drive my dream car. I knew without a doubt that something would happen or start to happen that would give me that dream car. I even had chills and felt the rush of adrenaline that I was getting a new car. To my disappointment my (ex) husband brushed it and my dream off and said. "maybe later". I. Was. Devastated. I realize now I should have stood up for myself and gone anyway, but back to my story.

I still want that black corvette. And I will get that Corvette.

So today running my errands I decided to try again with getting my black beauty.

I hopped in my little Tiburon and what did I do?  Yup. I blasted my music. I praised the Universe with gratitude. I drove fast and I had fun. I sang along with the radio. I imagined it was my dream car and it was amazing!! It brightened my mood and I smiled!! A lot!

I was determined to make today's chaos a fun productive day, and I did!! Even if I was being silly. You should try it.... it is quite exhilarating!

Love,

Why Am I Doing This?

Dear Universe,

Someone once asked me why I write. My answer was simple; "Because it makes me happy."

That is all we want in life right? To be happy. Ask anyone why they do what they do and in one way or another their answer always leads back to their pursuit of happiness.

Over the last two years my life has done a complete 180* change, in my own pursuit of happiness. And all of my changes and choices have led me here. To this blog. To my Facebook page, if you follow it, and to these posts. Me writing for you and well, for me too.

When I started my Work In Progress Facebook page it was because a dear friend of mine suggested it. We had both recently watched the movie "The Secret" and have started making positive changes in our lives. She suggested I start a page to post my positive quotes, happy little notes and photos that I collect from the books I read and the blogs I follow.

So, A Work In Progress was born, on Facebook.

Now, what does that have to do with this blog?

Well, someone asked what my Work In Progress page was for...and my answer was simple...a positive place to share quotes and happy thoughts. But, if I am going to have a page dedicated to it, and want to share more, then what? I don't want to post long status updates and posts on Facebook just to fill up my friends' new feeds. Shyfexy was the name of a blog I started several years ago when I first heard about "The Secret" and wanted to follow my dreams of living a positive lifestyle. It was then forgotten for years and eventually deleted. I figured now is a good time to bring back my old namesake and give it a newer, positive title.

So, here I am. A Work In Progress. Always learning. Always growing. Always Changing.

Love,