Thankfully Thursday

Dear Universe, This week I adopted the idea of a Gratuity Rock.

The Secret inspired me to find, and use a gratuity rock. It is a pebble that is placed in your pocket or someplace that you see frequently throughout the day. Every time you touch or see that pebble you are supposed to thank the Universe for something in your life.


This week I had a rough one. I felt discouraged about my path in life and I felt like my dreams and goals were being tested. I saw my gratuity rock sitting on my desk today and I realized that being discouraged is not a bad thing. By someone suggesting or telling me that I can't do something, only makes me want to prove them wrong by being the best at it.

I am thankful this week for that discouragement. I love who I am and I know that I am going to make great things happen. I will be the best at what I do because I love what I do. I live, eat and breathe a healthy lifestyle everyday and I know that by being a Fitness Trainer/Life Coach/Healer, I will be able to inspire and help so many other people in my life.

Every second of every day I am trying to find new ways to keep myself inspired and in turn inspire those around me. I am always looking for more information, more knowledge, more experience. I push myself everyday to prove to myself and my future clients that it can be done and that they can do it too.

They can make a complete lifestyle change and stick with it. They can eat healthy, they can exercise daily, they can see the wonderful changes in their life. They can be successful, they can do and be anything they want. I want this for people. I want to help others realize their potential and to grow and be happy.

I am thankful for the rough week I had. It made me stronger.

Thank you Universe for that random pebble in the middle of the floor that I stepped on. Thank you for making me stop in the middle of my feeling bad for myself, and thank you for the tiny bit of inspiration just when I needed it the most.

Light and Love,

It Is For Me

Dear Universe,

I post a lot of stuff about health and fitness. I post a lot of motivational quotes, and happy little  thoughts.

Why do I choose the things I do?

I choose them for me. They are things I need to hear to keep myself motivated. I need to hear everyday, how far I have come on my weight loss journey. I need to focus on being healthy, everyday. I need to be reminded of the positive side of life, everyday.

A long time ago I was listening to a Morning Coach podcast (this podcast changed my life. Check it out on iTunes.) where the creator JB Glossinger believed that everyday we need a little bit of positive energy. A reminder to stick with our guns and follow our dreams. This world can be a cruel ugly place, but we have the choice everyday to see the beautiful positive parts, even in darkness and despair, and make them outweigh the bad in our own lives.

SO that is why I choose what I do, to write about here and to post on my page.

My hope is that by sharing my journey and the things I have learned and sharing my world, I will motivate just one other person. If I can influence one person and they can influence one more, my life is whole and my purpose fulfilled.

So in the words of the fabulous Gala Darling, Blog on Babe!! And that is what I intend to do.

Light and Love,

Why Be A Trainer?

Dear Universe,

I just got the best compliment from my instructor!!!!

I finished my finals last night for my Exercise Physiology class. I had to write a paper about fitness in my life, what I do to train, and why I want to be a trainer.

It was a lot harder than I originally thought it would be. I had to answer a series of questions such as What tools I use, why my routine is set up the way it is. How can I motivate my clients? What will set me apart from the other trainers in the industry?

I had to take a good look at why I am doing this. Why do I want to be a trainer and what makes me different?

I want to be a trainer because health is something I have always been passionate about. It truly is amazing what the body is capable of doing and becoming. It feels incredible to reach a goal or beat a personal best and I want to be able to teach my clients how to do that and watch them feel the same adrenaline rush I feel. I want to be able to teach my clients the same things I have learned, fitness is not just about working out once in a while and eating healthy some of the time. Choosing to be fit is a way of life. It forced me to completely overhaul my bad habits. I was an emotional eater and gained 30 pounds over the course of a year and a half. I was depressed and would sit on the couch watching hours of mindless TV. In December when I weighed in at a weight I promised myself years ago I would never hit again, I broke. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time.
I decided it was time for a change.
Now I monitor every single calorie I eat or drink. I run at least 5 days and week and strength train 3-4 days a week. I have lost 14 pounds since December and I feel amazing! I have started training for a half marathon and have beaten my emotional eating.
Despite my obvious physical changes, mentally and emotionally I feel like I could take on the world. So many opportunities have opened up to me. I have met new people and have surrounded myself with people who, just like me, love to run.
I will be different at this because I have lived it, more than once. I have had to overcome the biggest obstacle,  myself. Having done this I can use that to motivate my clients to recognize the best in themselves.

Fitness really has become my way of life.

My instructor emailed me today to let me know that my grade had been posted and he left feedback for me. I was a nervous wreck logging into my school site.

But then I saw that A, and the amazing things he said, "You have an excellent understanding of what the public is going through, this will make you successful on your career path."
Then I scrolled down to the rest of my paper, "You are an excellent writer, you should look into starting a fitness blog."

He just confirmed what I already knew, but it feels good to hear it from someone who is already successful in the industry.

Thank you Universe for this amazing opportunity and all of the success that is ahead. This is my passion and I am finally in a place that I can share my talents with the world.

Light and Love,

Thankfully Thursday

Dear Universe,

I asked you for a sign this morning, a path, for me to follow my dreams. And you delivered.

I am studying so hard to become a fitness trainer and make my own healthy lifestyle changes.

I really do eat, drink, and breathe this personal trainer stuff. I push myself the way I would want to be pushed if I were the client. I am constantly reading articles, books, blog posts, and always thinking about how I can be a good example to my future clients.

I feel so at home when I am in the gym. I love the smell of the rubber floors and the sound of the machines. I love the constant beat pumping music in the back ground. I love the array of different workouts I could try.

Mostly though, I love the feeling that I feel...that by being there and working hard, I am improving myself. That is a feeling beyond what I can explain. I feel proud and accomplished that I am doing it for me. I feel good knowing that the gallons of sweat and hard work that I pour into myself and my workouts will show on the outside. It shows in me, and my life. I feel good. I do good. It really is the ultimate self love. I feel fantastic on the inside when I work out and it shows on the outside.

I live this stuff because I want to be it. I want to be that successful trainer that you look at and think, "Wow, she is really good at this." I want my clients to feel the same way I feel after accomplishing a new personal best. It is such an adrenaline high when your hard work pays off and you are that much better than you were yesterday.

The gym is so full of possibilities and potential. All I have to do is pour my heart and my dedication into myself and I can change. I love that constant change and constant forward progress. Lifting one more pound, or running one more tenth of a mile, It makes me feel so alive.

So thank you Universe for the sign I needed today. Thank you for showing me my path.

Thank you for my amazing strong body, that I really did push to the limit today.

I am so grateful for my life and am happy to just be me.

Namaste,

Fitday!!!!

Dear Universe,

I feel fantastic today!!

It is Friday my favorite day of the week!!!!

It is fitness day in my world. I started this week with a goal of going to the gym everyday.... due to scheduling conflicts and last minute birthday parties I have only made it two days. However, both times I was able to go, I pushed myself to my limits.

I ran my fastest, hardest, longest sprint intervals this week. Pushing myself as hard as I could and I almost passed out. (I was a panting, red-faced, sweaty mess!)

It was amazing!

I have always struggled with thinking of myself as a runner. I have showered myself in limiting thoughts and have always said "I can't... I have.....(insert excuse here.)"  I always had asthma, bad knees, my body wasn't built to run, I am not a runner, my lungs hurt, etc... blah blah blah.

I admit I used to get winded walking up a flight of stairs. When I started Insanity workouts (intense at home workout DVD set) I felt like I wanted to pass out just after the warm up. (There is a reason it is called Insanity.)

However I noticed a change last week. I ran my first two miles straight on the treadmill and it felt amazing. I didn't struggle, I felt strong, and my breathing was spot on. I don't get winded walking up stairs and have so much more energy.

Holy crap!!! My interval training works!!!

Since I pushed my interval sprints harder this week I am hoping by next week or the week after to try a solid run again and see how I do.

I repeat affirmations in my head when I run too. Usually something like:
I am strong.
I am a runner.
I feel good.
I can do this.
I am doing this.
I am a runner.
I run because I can.
My body is perfect.
I have a runner body.

Sounds crazy but it works!


I am grateful for the ability to work hard and change my body. It truly is amazing what the body and mind are capable of, and I am so thankful for my strong healthy fit body!!


Namaste,

Change

Dear Universe,

I have had a lot of people talk to me lately about how I have changed.

So I want to take a moment to write to you about it.

I have had so much change in my life in the last year. My life literally has done a complete 180.

Was it all easy? Of course not.
Was it exactly the way I wanted it? Well, no.
Was it something that I had planned? Never in a million years.
Was it worth it? Yes.

I decided to change my life and focus on the relationships that I knew would make me happy.
So I got a divorce.

I had some health problems that required some intense drug therapy.
I quite literally was crazy and depressed for months.

My Grandpa's soul made its way home to my Grandma's soul in their next life.
I was devastated.

I gained about thirty pounds.
I was ashamed. But am learning to love myself again, and am living a healthier lifestyle now.

I have found my life purpose again.
I struggled to be my positive self for a while. (Partly because of the depression from my medication) I have found Me again, and am loving it!

Was this easy? Not. At. All!

All of these changes were intense and compounded on each other in the last year. I felt beaten down. I was exhausted all the time. There were days that I laid in bed, and cried. I didn't want to face the world. I didn't want to move. I wanted to lay there and hug my knees to my chest because I felt like that was the only way I could hold myself together. I went for weeks without taking care of myself. I didn't get dressed, (I lived in pajamas for a few months) I didn't do my hair, I didn't wear makeup, or any of my favorite jewelry. I didn't do any of the things that made me happy. Just making it through the day and to the next, was a struggle. It really was the darkest time of my life.

Looking back now, I know that it was something that I needed to go through. It changed me, for the better. I am happier now. I know that I will always have the love of my life by my side to support me. I truly have some amazing people in my life that picked me up and held me together when I needed them the most. The darkness showed me the true light in my life and it has made me stronger.

Who is anyone to decide what changes someone else, and whether those changes should be viewed as wrong?

I am mostly the same person that people knew, but I consider myself to be a better version. For the first time in my life I was able to stand up and be independent of negative relationships. Sure, the things that I used to consider important have taken a back seat to better, more important things to me now. That is okay. What I chose to do and be, makes me happy. No one else can decide what truly makes me happy, but me.

I choose to be unashamed and proud of me. That is why I am here at this exact moment in my life writing to you.

I am happy. Yes I changed, but all for the better.

I don't regret any of it, or any of my choices. I truly am happy just being me. And I love me!

Namaste,

Thankfully Thursday

Dear Universe,

Today I want to say thank you.

Thank you for giving me the ability to recognize what I want in life and go after it.

Thank you for blessing me with the experiences I have had and the people that surround me. They are exactly what and who I need.

Thank you for my past. It has shaped me and taught me just who I am and where I am going.

I am grateful for the creativity and ability to write this letter to you.

Thank you for the chance to sing Happy Birthday to a sweet little girl today, and watch her face glow as she blew out her candles.

I am greateful for the ability to stop at the store and swipe my card knowing that my bank account is full and I can pay for whatever I may want or need.

Thank you for my job. I was reminded today just how much I love having more freedom to work my job around my life rather than my life around my job.

Thank you for blessing me with the ability to work from home.
Thank you for not letting my car break down on me today after my check engine light turned on when I was on my way to work.

Thank you for showing me just how courageous and assertive I can be.

Thank you for allowing me to prove to myself that I am worth it and deserve every wonderful thing in my life.

Thank you for giving me this life. It truly makes me the happiest girl in the world and I am loving every minute of it.



Love,

I Wanted To Quit

Dear Universe,

Today was my first day back at the gym since the accident.

I was excited to go. I needed it after the busy week last week and the even busier week this week. I love putting my head phones in and drowning out the world with some good music. It is my 'me' time.

I have been struggling a lot lately with trying to overcome my eating habits. I have wanted to quit, and give into my cravings.

Thank heavens for good friends who keep me on track and a calorie counter app on my phone to help me stay focused. Plus reading my homework about how the body burns energy helps me to not want to eat ramen noodles...... as much.

Well tonight I decided I wanted to run. I wanted to see how far I could push my body.

The first five minutes felt good. I was feeling strong and my breathing was spot on. So I bumped the speed.

The next ten minutes felt good too. I kept repeating my perfect weight in my head, and thanking You, Universe, for my healthy body.

With about 13 minutes left I started to feel tired... I tried to push myself harder, which I probably shouldn't have done. My back muscles seized up and started cramping. My running stance became compromised. I paused my run for a minute to catch my breath and stretch.

As I stood there panting with sweat running down my face, my back, my chest and my arms, I wanted to stop. I kept telling myself over and over that I could do this.

I started the treadmill back up, but bumped the speed back down to where I started.

I hopped back on and started to run slower. I felt better. My back felt better and I started thinking, I can do this.

Until I hit five minutes left.

I. WANTED. TO. QUIT. SO. BAD!!!

I had to start running positive affirmations over and over in my mind. I am fit. I am healthy. I can do this. I am strong. I can do this. I am doing this. I feel healthy.

With two minutes left I bumped my speed up to the speed I sprint at.

Oh, that was tough. I was breathing so hard and was red in the face, BUT I DID IT!!!!

I finished my run sprinting! I felt amazing, even if I wanted to quit.

I am proud of myself for not quitting and for staying on my healthy path.

I have taken some meds for my back that I know is going to be sore tomorrow and I have ice on my knee, but none of that matters. I didn't quit!

Thank you Universe for my amazing body that is capable of so much. It is strong, fit and healthy and I love it!

Love,

Cheating

Dear Universe,

I am not perfect. Far from it. Today I snapped.

The past few weeks I have been killing myself. I have been eating 1200 calories a day or less and have been pushing myself really hard at the gym. So hard in fact that I tweaked my knee yesterday running on the treadmill (best two mile run I have ever ran in my life!) and had to take today a lot slower on the elliptical.

My body is so sore that it literally hurts to breathe. I have done two Ab workouts this week and to sneeze and cough feels like my stomach is going to fall off my body.

I have been so good with my diet that I even have been using water with my protein shakes. ( It really is kind of gross!)


Well tonight I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had to cheat. So..... I ravished those corn dogs and it was worth every bite.

I can't be perfect all the time and I need to not expect myself to. I will not feel guilty in the morning for eating them and lord knows I probably will have a bowl of cereal before bed. (Cheerios and soy milk of course.)

Being okay with a cheat meal once in a while is a necessary part of any 'diet'. And while we are at it. Lets talk about the word diet. I hate it. I hate that as a whole, society believes that certain foods are 'bad' for you. Well anything in excess can be bad for you, even water. But what most people forget is moderation. It is okay to have a corn dog once in a while. I don't even remember the last time I ate one. It is okay to have that glass of wine once a week, or that piece of chocolate before bed. It is okay to eat foods that you truly love, once in a while. Our bodies are fine tuned machines and to feel good they need good nutrition. So although I did just feed my body 13 grams of protein for each corn dog, I also fed it a lot of sodium and a lot of saturated fat. I fully intend to burn that off at the gym.

A healthy lifestyle is good for everyone, but it is okay to have that cheat once in a while. Your healthy choices will fail miserably if you don't let yourself have some breathing room. I would rather cheat with my dinner tonight than feel so pressured in a few days that I go on an eating binge for a whole day. That would do a whole lot more damage than two corn dogs.


So thank you Universe for letting me vent tonight. I needed it to remind myself that it is okay to just be human once in a while. I still love myself and know that I really am doing an incredible job on my weight loss journey.

Love ,

Baby Steps

Dear Universe,

Today you made me feel incredible!!!!

I secretly have struggled with confidence in my body and have had a personal battle with food and gaining weight, over the past two years. I would try to 'diet' and fail miserably, only to find that I had gained...believe it or not...30 pounds from my healthiest weight three years ago.

I was miserable. I hated the way I looked. I hated the way my clothes fit. I felt fat, frumpy, ugly, and horrible about myself. These feelings, coupled with my divorce, depression, and my Grandpa passing away last year, found me in a downward spiral.

I felt like I was in a black hole, so I would eat and drink wine, to make myself feel better.

One cold Sunday morning in December right before Christmas I stepped on the scale...and I cried. And cried. And cried some more. I weighed my heaviest. Even though I had weighed almost that much before, I had promised myself years ago that I would never reach that awful 163 pounds again...but I had. I broke my promise to myself. I hated myself and I knew that I needed to stop.

I vowed that day to make changes. I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app on my iPhone and started using it. I received a boxing bag and pink boxing gloves for Christmas and I started using them. I went to the gym everyday at least once a day over Christmas break and did at least two workouts everyday. I cut out my guilty pleasures like my glass of wine and my ramen noodles (with lots of melty cheese! yum!).

Right before Christmas I signed up through the University of Utah to take online courses to be a certified fitness trainer. This is something that I always wanted to do, but my bachelor degree in psychology had been my main priority for the last few years. I finally took the plunge and now have four classes left before my internship!!!

That morning I had decided that if I was going to be a credible trainer and someone that my clients could count on, I HAD to change. I needed to be able to prove to my future clients, as well as myself, that it was possible to get healthy, and create a change for myself.

Well this morning I stepped on the same scale and I can say I am doing it!! I am changing my body and my life!

I have lost TEN pounds since that awful morning and I feel amazing!! (that is even with the holiday feasts!)  I feel skinnier and my clothes are starting to fit better. My goal is to be down another 20 pounds by summer vacation time and I know that I will do it. I have a healthy lifestyle in place and everyday I am getting better.

I even, GASP, have cut coffee completely out of my diet. I know!! That is huge for me, considering I could down a whole 12 cup pot by myself, every morning!

So I want to say thank you, Universe, for giving me the people I needed for motivation, the courage in myself, and the ability to see the changes that my beautiful body is making. Thank you for this baby step to help keep me going everyday.

I hope that soon I will have another letter for you describing the rest of my weight loss journey, on that amazing day when I reach my goal!!

Sending Lots of Love Light and Peace,

The Power Of The Secret

Dear Universe,

Today I had a particularly fun moment using the Law of Attraction and bringing more positive energy into my life.

It was a crazy day running errands, trying to work, and get a workout in all while still dealing with the sniffles I have from being in bed for 4 days with a stinking cold.

At one point today I had to run to town to pick up one of the children from a sleep over.

I love cars. I love to drive fast. I love movies like the Fast and the Furious and Gone in 60 Seconds.

I had tried the steps to the Law of Attraction a few years ago and had focused my energy on a new car.

My dream car is a hot pink custom painted 1970 Corvette Stingray with T-tops. Yes, my Barbie Car. I had in the past though focused on a new sleek black Vette with a sunroof. At the time I drove an old 1996 Isuzu Rodeo with giant mud tires that hummed on the freeway. (Yes I loved that car too, even though it wasn't fast, man could that thing puddle jump!!) Every time I jumped in my Rodeo I would pretend it was a Vette. And I would have fun with it! I would blast my music, thank the Universe for this amazing car, and drive fast.... well as fast as I could.

I was shopping one day with my husband at the time and we drove right by a Chevy dealer. I had a huge gut instinct to stop. To go test drive my dream car. I knew without a doubt that something would happen or start to happen that would give me that dream car. I even had chills and felt the rush of adrenaline that I was getting a new car. To my disappointment my (ex) husband brushed it and my dream off and said. "maybe later". I. Was. Devastated. I realize now I should have stood up for myself and gone anyway, but back to my story.

I still want that black corvette. And I will get that Corvette.

So today running my errands I decided to try again with getting my black beauty.

I hopped in my little Tiburon and what did I do?  Yup. I blasted my music. I praised the Universe with gratitude. I drove fast and I had fun. I sang along with the radio. I imagined it was my dream car and it was amazing!! It brightened my mood and I smiled!! A lot!

I was determined to make today's chaos a fun productive day, and I did!! Even if I was being silly. You should try it.... it is quite exhilarating!

Love,