Thankfully Thursday

Dear Universe,

I asked you for a sign this morning, a path, for me to follow my dreams. And you delivered.

I am studying so hard to become a fitness trainer and make my own healthy lifestyle changes.

I really do eat, drink, and breathe this personal trainer stuff. I push myself the way I would want to be pushed if I were the client. I am constantly reading articles, books, blog posts, and always thinking about how I can be a good example to my future clients.

I feel so at home when I am in the gym. I love the smell of the rubber floors and the sound of the machines. I love the constant beat pumping music in the back ground. I love the array of different workouts I could try.

Mostly though, I love the feeling that I feel...that by being there and working hard, I am improving myself. That is a feeling beyond what I can explain. I feel proud and accomplished that I am doing it for me. I feel good knowing that the gallons of sweat and hard work that I pour into myself and my workouts will show on the outside. It shows in me, and my life. I feel good. I do good. It really is the ultimate self love. I feel fantastic on the inside when I work out and it shows on the outside.

I live this stuff because I want to be it. I want to be that successful trainer that you look at and think, "Wow, she is really good at this." I want my clients to feel the same way I feel after accomplishing a new personal best. It is such an adrenaline high when your hard work pays off and you are that much better than you were yesterday.

The gym is so full of possibilities and potential. All I have to do is pour my heart and my dedication into myself and I can change. I love that constant change and constant forward progress. Lifting one more pound, or running one more tenth of a mile, It makes me feel so alive.

So thank you Universe for the sign I needed today. Thank you for showing me my path.

Thank you for my amazing strong body, that I really did push to the limit today.

I am so grateful for my life and am happy to just be me.

Namaste,

Fitday!!!!

Dear Universe,

I feel fantastic today!!

It is Friday my favorite day of the week!!!!

It is fitness day in my world. I started this week with a goal of going to the gym everyday.... due to scheduling conflicts and last minute birthday parties I have only made it two days. However, both times I was able to go, I pushed myself to my limits.

I ran my fastest, hardest, longest sprint intervals this week. Pushing myself as hard as I could and I almost passed out. (I was a panting, red-faced, sweaty mess!)

It was amazing!

I have always struggled with thinking of myself as a runner. I have showered myself in limiting thoughts and have always said "I can't... I have.....(insert excuse here.)"  I always had asthma, bad knees, my body wasn't built to run, I am not a runner, my lungs hurt, etc... blah blah blah.

I admit I used to get winded walking up a flight of stairs. When I started Insanity workouts (intense at home workout DVD set) I felt like I wanted to pass out just after the warm up. (There is a reason it is called Insanity.)

However I noticed a change last week. I ran my first two miles straight on the treadmill and it felt amazing. I didn't struggle, I felt strong, and my breathing was spot on. I don't get winded walking up stairs and have so much more energy.

Holy crap!!! My interval training works!!!

Since I pushed my interval sprints harder this week I am hoping by next week or the week after to try a solid run again and see how I do.

I repeat affirmations in my head when I run too. Usually something like:
I am strong.
I am a runner.
I feel good.
I can do this.
I am doing this.
I am a runner.
I run because I can.
My body is perfect.
I have a runner body.

Sounds crazy but it works!


I am grateful for the ability to work hard and change my body. It truly is amazing what the body and mind are capable of, and I am so thankful for my strong healthy fit body!!


Namaste,

Thankfully Thursday

Dear Universe,

Today I am thankful for love.

It comes in all shapes and sizes.

I love everything about Valentines Day and today I got to shower several people in my life with cheesy goofy childlike fun. :)

For that I am thankful.

Life is amazing and I am truly blessed and grateful to be me. <3

Lots of Love,

Change

Dear Universe,

I have had a lot of people talk to me lately about how I have changed.

So I want to take a moment to write to you about it.

I have had so much change in my life in the last year. My life literally has done a complete 180.

Was it all easy? Of course not.
Was it exactly the way I wanted it? Well, no.
Was it something that I had planned? Never in a million years.
Was it worth it? Yes.

I decided to change my life and focus on the relationships that I knew would make me happy.
So I got a divorce.

I had some health problems that required some intense drug therapy.
I quite literally was crazy and depressed for months.

My Grandpa's soul made its way home to my Grandma's soul in their next life.
I was devastated.

I gained about thirty pounds.
I was ashamed. But am learning to love myself again, and am living a healthier lifestyle now.

I have found my life purpose again.
I struggled to be my positive self for a while. (Partly because of the depression from my medication) I have found Me again, and am loving it!

Was this easy? Not. At. All!

All of these changes were intense and compounded on each other in the last year. I felt beaten down. I was exhausted all the time. There were days that I laid in bed, and cried. I didn't want to face the world. I didn't want to move. I wanted to lay there and hug my knees to my chest because I felt like that was the only way I could hold myself together. I went for weeks without taking care of myself. I didn't get dressed, (I lived in pajamas for a few months) I didn't do my hair, I didn't wear makeup, or any of my favorite jewelry. I didn't do any of the things that made me happy. Just making it through the day and to the next, was a struggle. It really was the darkest time of my life.

Looking back now, I know that it was something that I needed to go through. It changed me, for the better. I am happier now. I know that I will always have the love of my life by my side to support me. I truly have some amazing people in my life that picked me up and held me together when I needed them the most. The darkness showed me the true light in my life and it has made me stronger.

Who is anyone to decide what changes someone else, and whether those changes should be viewed as wrong?

I am mostly the same person that people knew, but I consider myself to be a better version. For the first time in my life I was able to stand up and be independent of negative relationships. Sure, the things that I used to consider important have taken a back seat to better, more important things to me now. That is okay. What I chose to do and be, makes me happy. No one else can decide what truly makes me happy, but me.

I choose to be unashamed and proud of me. That is why I am here at this exact moment in my life writing to you.

I am happy. Yes I changed, but all for the better.

I don't regret any of it, or any of my choices. I truly am happy just being me. And I love me!

Namaste,

Fitday!

Dear Universe,

It is Friday and oh yes, Fitday!!

Fitness applies not only to the typical healthy lifestyle and exercise routine, but can also be applied to any part of life.

Being healthy encompasses Mind, Body, and Spirit.

I think this covers it well. <3 Happy Friday!!


Love,

Thankfully Thursday

Dear Universe,

Today I want to say thank you.

Thank you for giving me the ability to recognize what I want in life and go after it.

Thank you for blessing me with the experiences I have had and the people that surround me. They are exactly what and who I need.

Thank you for my past. It has shaped me and taught me just who I am and where I am going.

I am grateful for the creativity and ability to write this letter to you.

Thank you for the chance to sing Happy Birthday to a sweet little girl today, and watch her face glow as she blew out her candles.

I am greateful for the ability to stop at the store and swipe my card knowing that my bank account is full and I can pay for whatever I may want or need.

Thank you for my job. I was reminded today just how much I love having more freedom to work my job around my life rather than my life around my job.

Thank you for blessing me with the ability to work from home.
Thank you for not letting my car break down on me today after my check engine light turned on when I was on my way to work.

Thank you for showing me just how courageous and assertive I can be.

Thank you for allowing me to prove to myself that I am worth it and deserve every wonderful thing in my life.

Thank you for giving me this life. It truly makes me the happiest girl in the world and I am loving every minute of it.



Love,

I Wanted To Quit

Dear Universe,

Today was my first day back at the gym since the accident.

I was excited to go. I needed it after the busy week last week and the even busier week this week. I love putting my head phones in and drowning out the world with some good music. It is my 'me' time.

I have been struggling a lot lately with trying to overcome my eating habits. I have wanted to quit, and give into my cravings.

Thank heavens for good friends who keep me on track and a calorie counter app on my phone to help me stay focused. Plus reading my homework about how the body burns energy helps me to not want to eat ramen noodles...... as much.

Well tonight I decided I wanted to run. I wanted to see how far I could push my body.

The first five minutes felt good. I was feeling strong and my breathing was spot on. So I bumped the speed.

The next ten minutes felt good too. I kept repeating my perfect weight in my head, and thanking You, Universe, for my healthy body.

With about 13 minutes left I started to feel tired... I tried to push myself harder, which I probably shouldn't have done. My back muscles seized up and started cramping. My running stance became compromised. I paused my run for a minute to catch my breath and stretch.

As I stood there panting with sweat running down my face, my back, my chest and my arms, I wanted to stop. I kept telling myself over and over that I could do this.

I started the treadmill back up, but bumped the speed back down to where I started.

I hopped back on and started to run slower. I felt better. My back felt better and I started thinking, I can do this.

Until I hit five minutes left.

I. WANTED. TO. QUIT. SO. BAD!!!

I had to start running positive affirmations over and over in my mind. I am fit. I am healthy. I can do this. I am strong. I can do this. I am doing this. I feel healthy.

With two minutes left I bumped my speed up to the speed I sprint at.

Oh, that was tough. I was breathing so hard and was red in the face, BUT I DID IT!!!!

I finished my run sprinting! I felt amazing, even if I wanted to quit.

I am proud of myself for not quitting and for staying on my healthy path.

I have taken some meds for my back that I know is going to be sore tomorrow and I have ice on my knee, but none of that matters. I didn't quit!

Thank you Universe for my amazing body that is capable of so much. It is strong, fit and healthy and I love it!

Love,